just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize