i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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