Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
