i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
