highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
