Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
do herpes really smell.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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