My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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