Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
