Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
