As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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