Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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