Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
