Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
