i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Randomize
