This girl is more easily done than said...
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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