Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize