I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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