i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
