i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
either way he was missing a nipple.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
