So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
