it wasn't lemon gatorade
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
