So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
