Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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