I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Sober January is a disaster.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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