made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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