bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
