nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
