Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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