It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
