I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
