East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
