I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
