We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
