i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I need to sanitize my soul.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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