Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
