So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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