My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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