just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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