I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
