my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
