It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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