all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
