I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
