i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
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