Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i would punch a child for taco bell
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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