i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize
