Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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