They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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