Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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