soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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