but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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