dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
