idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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