Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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