Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
