hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
