new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
