just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
