if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Randomize
