Who wears a wallet chain?!
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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