Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize