Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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