you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
